What Would You Change?

Not quite sure how to start off this one. We made another trip to the airport this week to send some more missionaries home. Their 24 months is up and they're headed back to their families and friends and the lives they once lived. A lot of them changed. A few of them didn't. Some fulfilled their purpose, and others had a really, really, long vacation. Elder Bench went home in this group and it was hard hugging him goodbye in the security line. He was a good companion, one of my favorites, and I shed a few tears as I hugged him and told him good luck. Watching them walk through the gate takes a lot out of you. 

 

Driving home I sat and pondered my own mission. If I could go back to change anything, would I? I found comfort in the fact that I wouldn't. There's been a lot of mistakes I've made up to this point in my life- on the mission and before it- that I wouldn't change. I've tried my best and those mistakes help make me who I am. But there has never been a moment on my mission where I've been blatantly disobedient to mission principles, and I've worked hard, even on the days I don't feel like it. I'm out pounding the pavement and trying my best and that's all I need to feel to know I'm having a successful mission. There may be times where better teaching skills would have blessed me, or that having greater gospel knowledge could've helped out in a lesson, or even days where we may not have done the right missionary activities- but learning from mistakes is a skill I feel that I've developed. I make plenty of them, so I've had a lot of practice. I just find comfort in the fact that I wouldn't go back and change who I am or what I've done. I'm happy with what I've accomplished thus far being fully aware that there still is plenty of improvement and progress to make!

One of the departing missionary's family was coming to pick him up in person. They drove down to the mission office and met him there. We were the ones to be his companion and we witnessed the happy reunion. Talk about something that can make you home sick- seeing a brother see his siblings and parents again after 2 long years will do it. I was happy for the missionary, but it did make me miss my own family. This mission isn't for the feint of heart! Like I've said before- it's about SERVING a mission, not just going on one. You know you're finding success when you leave your heart out on the streets on the boiling pavement and add in a whole lot of blood, sweat, and tears.

West Texas falls right on the buckle of the bible belt. You've got your Baptists, Lutherans, Church of Christ, Catholics, Non Denominational Christians... there seems to be a church on every corner. Teaching someone about Christ who thinks they know everything about him that they need to can be hard. I've gotten to the point where I can flip scripture with the best of them- but that gets you no where. You just end up leaving their homes or door steps in a huff feeling like you failed- and in a sense, you did. It's not about tearing down other's beliefs to then erect and insert your own. Its about adding to and building upon the truths that they already hold dear. For example- that Jesus is the Christ, God is real, and that He loves us. After a few months you warm up to them all- the people, the heat, the landscape, and even the insidious dust that seems to be omnipresent. Winning a "fight" as a missionary (and I assume as a "civilian" as well, haha) really never wins you anything. If someone is right, then someone else always has to be wrong. You can't argue beliefs or testimony. That's the spirit's role and job. 

So this week was spent with new missionaries on Monday and Tuesday, including transfers around the mission. The big transfer puzzle has been torn apart and put back in the box only to be opened another 6 weeks down the road. The new missionaries coming out are phenomenal! I was never so prepared. They're all going to do such great things out here. We sent them on their way Tuesday afternoon then spent the rest of the day with the departing missionaries and sent them off early Wednesday morning. This Friday we had a Mission Leadership Council meeting which went off without a hitch, and we've now arrived on P-day. What a week its been. I am utterly exhausted. 

Catching Rabbits seems to be a good way to rid ourselves of some stress. We wore the gloves last week because we were afraid they would bite... now we know they just kick. So its bare hands from now on! We're rabbit hunting pros now... we get them in about 5 minutes. Team work and companionship unity! Don't worry- we only do it during breaks like lunch and dinner. 

President Heap often says that it looks like I seem to be carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I guess its my mind and body disagreeing- just like when I used to be sick. My mind tells me I've never been happier but my body just can't seem to handle the stress. I'm making it though. Slow and steady wins the race! I know I couldn't be doing this without my God and the strength that he provides me. I just couldn't. 

I'm so grateful for the lessons I'm learning, the support I have from my stellar companions and friends, a loving mission president and his wife, the hard work and dedication of nearly 200 young missionaries, and my friends and family back home. My body may feel like it's carrying the weight of the world, but my mind has never felt so free. 

Its been a good, long, hard, week. The best kind of week to have as a missionary. Only when the times get rough do we really understand what we're made of. The dam doesn't get tested until the flood waters rise. You can't know how much the chain can hold until you put weight on it. And you never understand who you truly are and what you're made of until you're tested as well- physically, mentally, and spiritually.  Those are the times that you truly get to see what your made of.

"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as freedom should not be highly rated." -Thomas Paine

Resist the urge to be as the summer soldier and the sunshine patriot. You have the potential to become so much more. Keep treading water and keep breathing. You'll make it. 

Stay strong and stay true to who you are and whatever it may be that you stand for. 

Stay gold. 

Your friend, missionary, and son,

Elder Austin Daniel Sork