Wow! Its been another long week full of success, frustration, and
plenty of stress to go around! It's week 6 of the transfer which is usually a
high stress week in and of itself so the added stress is nothing out of the
ordinary. Missionaries try to remain focused and not think of the possible moves
that could occur and how their lives will change because of them- whether it be
a move to a new area, new companion, or going home- each of those brings on its
own individual challenges and headaches. I've never had a bad move though. I've
learned much from every companion that I've spent time with, from the areas I've
served in, as well as the people I've worked with. Every single one was placed
at the exact point in my life that I needed them to continue growing, recognize
my weaknesses, or to rebuild after a particularly hard couple of weeks.
This
next six weeks will be another transfer with yet more challenges and problems to
solve with a whole lot of growth mixed right in! I'll be remaining in the
College Park ward with my companions Elder May, Elder Cardon, and Elder Major.
They're all great guys and I look forward to the lessons we will continue to
learn from one another.
One thing we've started doing is living "the law of
consecration" so we all plan out a grocery list and go shopping then by the food
and split it all four ways. It takes more effort and time, but it saves lots of
money and you're able to save up and buy foods like real fruits and
vegetables!
This past week I feel like I've been running a bit low on patience and
charity. After spending a lot of time problem solving or ironing out some
situations I always feel absolutely drained. It doesn't help my mood at all and
I let it affect the way I treat my companions sometimes and my mood around the
apartment at nights or during exercise in the mornings. I self diagnosed this
problem and I hope to be able to treat it accordingly. I need to be able to
separate the feelings of frustration that some situations bring into my life
from the positive memories, moments, and opportunities that have the potential
to guide my mood throughout the day. I've discovered that I don't feel like I'm
my best self when I'm surrounded by more than one person at a time. I enjoy
having one companion at a time and it makes it easier to serve them, get to know
them, and really make their life just a little better. It's something I enjoy
doing immensely. I've discovered that adding in a few people adds to my stress
level as well and I seem less willing to serve, love, and go out of my way to
help others. Its something I'm trying to work and improve on.
This week Elder May and I went running five out of seven days about 3 miles
each day. We wake up at 5:50 AM in the mornings and run to sports, play sports
with the other missionaries, then get a ride back with our other companions. I'm
not much of a runner- in fact it's not really even something I enjoy doing. But
I've been doing a study recently on self control, or self discipline if you
will, and I'm trying to apply what I've learned into my life. A church leader
once said that self control is like a muscle and the more you exercise it the
stronger it gets. So- I want to be in control of who I am and what I become
meaning I have to exercise that muscle. I've been working out on a regular
basis, shaving daily, making my bed, getting to studies on time, eating smaller
portion sizes... all in the hopes that doing so will aid me in my struggle to
overcome the "natural man" inside of me.
The smaller portion sizes and less sleep probably aren't helping out with
my irritability level but I'm hoping to overcome that struggle as well. The
important thing is finding balance in all things. Going to an extreme in one
direction can cause problems while going just as hard in the opposite direction
can cause the same, if not greater, problems for you. The key is
temperance!
We traveled to Carlsbad today to witness the baptism of Shay. We taught him all
the lessons while he was attending Tech but had to go home to Carlsbad, NM at
the end of the school term. He was able to be baptized there after meeting with
the other elders for a few weeks. It was great to see him again!
Elder May and I need to take breaks every now and again from the work we're
doing as our minds and bodies get stretched in some of the office work and
transfer puzzles that we're faced with. During dinner time we took some time to
unwind and went outside the church building to hunt some rabbits. We threw some
gloves in the back of our truck just in case we came across any critters we
could catch (Snakes, rabbits, prairie dogs etc). So we dawned those and went off
on the rabbit hunt. Believe it or not he and I actually cornered one and caught
it with our bare hands. Hahaha, it was pretty funny. We didn't think it would be
possible to even grab it.
We spent a good amount of time chasing it around,
tiring it out, blocking it from its hole, and making an effort to grab him when
we got close enough. The only reason we caught him is because of how far he
strayed from his hole. Those that remained near the hole weren't in danger of
being caught. There's a gospel lesson somewhere in there that I'll let you
figure out for yourself.
Mercifully Elder May and I are more of catch and
release kinda' guys so we took him out to the large field on the side of the
church building and released him there. It was a good way to unwind just a
little bit and get our minds back up and working again.
Sometimes I fear I haven't changed enough, but I know that as long as I
continue giving my all the Lord will continue to chip away at my imperfections
and purge my inadequacies. The challenge is allowing him to do it. He only
changes you if you submit to him- all of your desires, the ones you think are
bad, as well as the ones you think are good. He wants ALL of it, so that
he can change ALL of you. Anything less and you come out on the other end not
quite reaching your full heavenly potential. Keep pushing through and try to
become more consecrated with each passing day. I love you all. Please forgive me
for my incoherent thoughts today, it's been a long week! Wish me luck with the
next. You're all in my prayers.
Take care and remain strong and true!
Your friend, brother, son, and missionary,
Elder Austin Sork
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